Konbini Ossan Volume 1 Chapter 18 – Otogin and Shuri-kun
“You’re not even fazed when you hear I’m an old geezer and a man? Impressive, Otogin!”
Shriva-san seemed oddly impressed by me.
“Well, I figured in another world, people like you might be completely normal.”
“Uhh, nope? I’m still pretty rare, you know?”
“Is that so? I’ll make sure to act more surprised next time.”
“You’re still not surprised though, Otsugi-dono…”
(E/N: Preach, Marceline, preach!)
Marceline threw in a sharp remark. Hm, did I say something strange?
“So, what was it you wanted from me, Otogin?”
Shriva asked with a bright smile, while rubbing his chest against my lower half.
(E/N: Uhhh…)
Even knowing he’s a man, that cute face is hard to handle for a lonely, 35-year-old virgin like me.
(E/N: wtf, Uncle?)
“Actually, I wanted to learn Enchantment Magic from you.”
“Ohhh? Enchantment Magic, huh? That’s a pretty unpopular branch. Any particular reason why?”
Since he asked, I decided to explain everything.
I told him how the goddess gave me discarded skills—ones that don’t work because humans can’t meet their conditions.
But I thought if I could use enchantment magic to attach those skills to objects, maybe I could put them to use.
As I explained in detail, Shriva's expression gradually turned serious. As expected of a court magician—he’s clearly intrigued by such topics.
“I see… Given your situation, Otogin, Enchantment Magic might actually be really effective.
…
Truth is, I once experimented with skill enchantment too—trying to transfer high-quality metal traits to cheaper ones.
…
It worked, but the magic circle complexity and mana costs were too much, so I scrapped it.”
Apparently, even the royal magician once considered ideas similar to mine.
“But in your case, you’re enchanting your own skills onto items. That makes things cheap and easy. I’d say, you could learn it in a day—two at most.”
“That’s a huge help.”
“I’ll also teach you some related magic circle systems. Might come in handy once you’re kicked out of the palace.”
“Thank you very much, Shriva-san.”
“Buuut~ in exchange…”
Shriva leaned in with a seductive grin.
“I want your virginity, Otogin~!”
(E/N:… What?!)
He cooed the words sweetly like a playful kitten.
“Alright. I don’t mind.”
(T/N: WTF, Uncle?!?!)
I accepted the deal.
…Silence.
Even Marceline, who had been listening, and Shriva himself froze with strained expressions.
“Um… Otogin?”
“Yes, what is it?”
“You know I just asked for your virginity, right?”
“Yes, I understood.”
“Meaning you’d be doing lewd things with me, right?”
“That’s correct.”
“Are you sure? I’m a guy. An old man, even. You're just throwing your first time to some random dude's butt?”
“No problem.”
(E/N: HOW?! WHY?! WHERE?! WHAT?!)
“WHY!?”
“Well, it’s embarrassing to admit, but I’m already 35 and still a virgin. Honestly, I’ve reached the point where… if they’re cute, even a guy is fine.”
(T/N: …God is dead, Yuiga-kun… You're this down bad?!)
“That wasn’t supposed to happen! That’s NOT the reaction I wanted!”
Shriva was clearly upset. Did I mess up by accepting?
“Otsugi-dono… I no longer know whether I should respect or despise you.”
(E/N: THIS!!!)
Even Marceline had trouble deciding how to feel. Maybe I did make the wrong choice here.
“If I upset you, Shriva-san, I apologize.”
“Huh? N-No, I mean… It’s not like I’m mad or anything. More like… I’m just really thrown off because you’re way too calm about this.”
“I see. Sorry. I’m a bit clueless when it comes to romantic matters.”
“No, I mean, this is kinda a different issue…”
Shriva groaned in frustration.
“Anyway… it seems I can’t satisfy you with the original deal. Please name a new condition, if you would.”
“Ugh… fine.”
Shriva held his head in thought. I guess I really did botch this exchange. Maybe learning enchantment magic won’t be so easy after all.
“Okay! New deal!”
“Yes?”
“From now on, you have to call me Shuri-kun — with love in your voice! Do that, and I’ll teach you Enchantment magic!”
“That’s all?”
“Yup, totally fine with that!”
“Thank you, Shuri-kun.”
I reached out and patted Shuri-kun on the head, since he said I needed to “say it with love”.
“Ehehe~ Thanks, Otogin!”
He seemed pleased. So it looks like that was the right call.
Suddenly, Marceline let out a long, exasperated sigh.
“Now I get it… Otsugi-dono, you're just as much a moron and pervert as Shriva.”
(E/N: Exactly!)
Oh no.
That makes two people now—first the goddess, now Marceline—certifying me as a genuine pervert.
I’m not even sure what I did wrong… and that makes it impossible to defend myself.
Oh well. I’ll just accept this new title with grace.
“Thank you, Lady Marceline.”
“Why are you thanking me!? You sound like an actual pervert now!”
——————
E/N:
Damn… What a rollercoaster. Hell naw, freaky Ossan got the dawg in him! Although…
Shota Old Man x Actual Old Man doesn't sound that ba-! W-What?! No! That's disgusting! Yeah, disgusting…
This trap's name is giving me headache though, is it Shuriva, Shriva, Silva, Sylva or Sylvia?! Which one is it?!
——————
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