Konbini Ossan Volume 17 Chapter 5 — Becoming Eternal
“Ughhh, what a drag... I don’t feeeel like doing anything...”
Collapsed limply on the floor and lazing around was my boss, the goddess Avril-senpai.
“That’s because you stayed up all night watching anime, Senpai.”
Somehow, she had actually used divine power to create an environment where she could watch anime from Earth.
What an absurd waste of power.
“But come on, you’d want to watch it too, right? It was a huge two-hour premiere special! Of course I watched it!”
“It would’ve been fine if you hadn’t let autoplay keep going into other anime afterward.”
As I said that, I handled Avril-senpai’s work in her place.
I poured power into the conceptual labor I perceived as things like documents she was supposed to process, resolving them one by one.
The paper-like things turned into light and vanished.
“Come on, Senpai, please work too. There’s a mountain of things to do.”
“Why is it that even after getting more subordinates, the amount of work doesn’t go down?!”
She probably doesn’t know.
When capacity increases, so does the workload.
“Heeey! Yūichi!”
As Avril-senpai and I were talking, someone came running over.
A young goblin with pink skin.
Yes, the former Candy Goblin boy who had ascended to godhood together with me.
“What is it?”
“In our world, some weird unknown power is rising and overflowing!”
“Oh?”
“Our world” meant the world where we had ascended to godhood.
The world filled with memories of the people precious to us.
“Come on, Senpai! With your power, you should at least be able to get a sense of what kind of force it is, right? Time to work.”
“Okaaay...”
Grumbling, Avril-senpai got up, and something like a document drifted into her hand.
“Alright, alright... Authority of imitation and progression, got it.”
Avril-senpai used the power she had gained upon becoming a god, an evolved form of the skill arrangement she had possessed in her Hero days.
With that, she should be able to imitate the unknown force and vaguely understand its nature.
“Huh? What the heck is this?”
Avril-senpai spoke in confusion.
“Well? What did you find?”
“This is... yes... truly a completely incomprehensible force!”
“More specifically?”
“No, I’m not joking. It’s genuinely incomprehensible.”
Tilting her head, she explained further.
“Apparently this force was born in a stagnant place where multiple strong powers were clashing against each other. As for what it actually is...”
“What is it?”
“A cat.”
A cat.
“It really is a cat! And not even a cat with any kind of power, just a cute cat! A massive amount of power is being used for the sole purpose of creating a cat!”
“R-Right...”
“And this cat’s power is specifically being used to make it truly adorable and helpless. Even if heaven and earth flipped upside down, it would never stop being cute, and it could never grow even slightly stronger!”
Refusing to fully process Avril-senpai’s words, I summarized half skeptically.
“So... a cat whose only defining trait is having overwhelmingly strong conceptual cuteness and weakness was born from enough power to potentially destroy the world?”
“Exactly. Strange, isn’t it?”
That went far beyond strange.
“This is weird and creepy, let’s just curse it to death!”
The former Candy Goblin youth casually offered that as one possible solution.
As I twisted my head over what to do, a voice suddenly rang out.
“Hey! Don’t say such stupid things!”
The next instant, smack! A sharp sound rang out as the Candy Goblin youth got whacked on the head.
“Geh! She’s here!”
“Don’t act like I’m some kind of cockroach!”
The one who had smacked him then turned the conversation toward me.
“Hey! ‘Yūichi’ say something too!”
Standing there was the person I loved most.
Otogi Arisa.
(E/N: F**k yeah!!!)
“Welcome back, Arisa.”
“Yes, yes, that’s fine, now scold Shastaban for me.”
Shastaban was the name of the Candy Goblin youth.
Back when he was alive, Arisa and I had doted on him like he was our own child.
I had lost count of how many times his incorrigible bratty nature had made us laugh wryly.
Even this educational sort of exchange was a remnant of those days.
“But Arisa. We can’t just leave some unknown existence alone...”
“But it’s just a cat, right? No killing allowed!”
At Arisa’s unreasonable decree, I turned toward Avril-senpai for support.
To my astonishment, she had already taken advantage of the distraction to slack off again.
She was lying down eating Chicago pizza and drinking cola.
At that point, there was no force anywhere capable of defeating Arisa.
“Alright. Let’s compromise and keep it under observation. If anything happens, we’ll dispose of it. If not, we leave it alone.”
“Mm-hmm, that works!”
Seeing Arisa’s satisfied expression, I found myself softening despite myself.
After my death.
Originally, only Shastaban and I were supposed to ascend to godhood.
However, an unforeseen complication arose.
The magic circles carved into Arisa and me had bound our souls together too strongly.
As a result, when I ascended to godhood, Arisa got dragged along and became something like a god as well.
Unable to undo that, Avril-senpai ended up accepting the three of us as her subordinates.
And so, through a chance accident, Arisa and I came to spend what seemed like eternity together.
Strangely enough, I never feel even the slightest bit tired of it.
What will actually happen from here, I don’t know.
Well.
Whatever happens, happens.
◆◇◆◇~THE END~◇◆◇◆
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E/N:
And with that somewhat crazy chapter, we end this beautiful but freaky series!
I'm so, so, sooo happy Arisa became a God with Ossan~! And Avril is still the same idiot Goddess so that's that…
Anyway, go show some support to the author, raws linked in the ToC!
Damn, I can't believe it has nearly been an year of consistent (well, not really but still) uploads…
Of course, I'll keep translating WNs… My other blog is still not up, hopefully it will be. This blog's for casual WNs I find on Kakuyomu or Syosetsu. The other blog would include LNs also so…
This far, if y'all liked my work (just editing AI translation really), consider donating some spare change to my Ko-fi (there is a floating blue widget on the lower left of your screen). I would really appreciate it!
Stay tuned for more!
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