Konbini Ossan Volume 12 Chapter 12 — The Failure
Questioned by the Dragon God, Shirley steeled herself and spoke.
“Dragon God-sama. What exactly... is my skill?”
That question succinctly expressed the complex she had carried within herself.
“Am I... someone who failed to become a shrine maiden? Just a failure?”
As Shirley asked, she looked as though she might burst into tears at any moment.
“I lacked what was necessary. I could never become someone needed by others. And even the one thing I excelled at has no value. So then... what am I?”
The Dragon God listened to Shirley’s question, then after a slow pause, answered.
“I guess you do not truly wish to know what «Spirit Vision» is. In that case, there is only one thing I can say to you.”
The Dragon God spoke to Shirley with a strangely gentle tone.
“If you call yourself a failure, then I am the same.”
At those words, Shirley’s eyes widened.
“Long ago, I was merely one among countless monsters summoned to ascend into godhood. I feared battle, fled, and survived with nothing worthy of pride besides continuing to live. In the end, I lay down in this land, accomplishing nothing.
…
I possess neither the resolve to ascend into godhood, nor even the possibility of doing so anymore. I am one who could not fulfill a single role desired by the gods.”
After speaking of what kind of existence it was, the Dragon God asked Shirley a question.
“Child of the village. What do you think of me?”
Faced with that question, Shirley fell silent.
“Yes. That silence itself is your answer. No one possesses the answer, nor the right to decide such things.”
Gently, the Dragon God spoke as though teaching Shirley.
“Without good or evil, without superiority or inferiority, the world blesses all that are born into it. There is no reason to belittle oneself over possessing too much or too little ability.”
“Is that... really true?”
Shirley voiced her doubt, and the Dragon God continued to guide her.
“You were born, and you stand here now. Truth and reason are often nothing more complicated than that.”
In other words, the thing that had denied Shirley, or the complex she carried, was not some absolute truth of the world capable of denying even her right to have been born.
“I know well the courage you showed in standing here for the sake of the Hero from another world, even risking your life to do so. I know your kindness. So enough now. Do not continue tormenting yourself, kind child of man.”
At the Dragon God’s words, tears spilled from Shirley’s eyes.
“I... I...!”
“Forget words and reason for now. Look beside you. Look upon the path you have walked.”
Interrupting Shirley gently, the Dragon God continued.
“If there are people you cannot forget, words you treasure, memories that remain within your heart, then devote your words and your reason to those things that still linger in your chest.
…
If you do that, then you are not the failure of anything. To someone, you have already become an irreplaceable existence unlike any other.”
Following the Dragon God’s words, I pulled Shirley close.
“To me, Shirley is someone truly one of a kind. And surely, to the many people who have met and connected with you throughout your life, it is the same. Long ago, you already stopped being the failure of anything.”
Shirley nodded through her tears.
Even without words, I could clearly feel that something which had long weighed down her heart was finally melting away and disappearing.
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E/N:
This brought a little tear to my eyes (it was def the onions, damnit!).
You are unique, you have your abilities, skills and your own way of thinking that no one has any right over or the ability to steal from you. If not this one, there is always another path.
So instead of comparing yourself, blaming yourself and beating yourself for something, keep trying and don't give up. For, the moment you stop thinking, mulling over thoughts, you cease to be a human. (Sorry for the yap!)
Stay tuned!
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