Konbini Ossan Volume 5 Chapter 21 — The «Leg-Jitter» Engine
Arisa frowned at me, clearly suspicious of what I had just said.
“Hey, old man. I was talking about the high-frequency blade. How did we end up on chainsaws?”
“Well then, let’s start from the beginning.”
I said that and shifted into full explanation mode.
“Arisa, what do you think is the greatest invention humanity ever came up with on Earth?”
“Uh… what’s with the pop quiz? I dunno. Smartphones?”
“No. It’s gears.”
“You’re not even listening, are you?”
(E/N: This line, here Arisa-chan is expressing exasperation because Ossan glossed over her saying Smartphone, by saying Gears. This is a nuance Japanese people use in daily conversations.)
Her saying Smartphone shattered the setup of my lecture, but I pushed forward anyway.
“Earth’s humans combined rotating plates — nothing more than that — to create countless inventions. The origin of all those creations, the absolutely indispensable component, is the gear.”
“Yeah yeah. And what does that have to do with a chainsaw?”
She had fully switched into ignore-mode. She used to listen wide-eyed to these little lectures of mine when she was small.
It hurt a bit to realize she didn’t anymore. Still, I continued.
“What makes gears so remarkable is rotation. And rotation itself is a combination of two vertical reciprocating movements.
…
In other words, vibration and gears. With just those two, you can recreate practically every invention ever made in human history.”
“Sure sure. And then?”
“So I’ve been thinking. If I used an object imbued with the «Leg Jitter» skill as a power source, I might be able to create magical tools with mechanical structure using gears.”
“Right, right. And?”
Her responses were so empty it was honestly depressing, but I continued.
“And this ties into the anti-blade robe problem. Remember how the high-frequency blade kept getting tangled on it?”
“Yeah.”
“So I thought the opposite. Fine — let it get tangled.”
We were finally entering the main point, but Arisa looked completely uninterested.
“First, since the hem of the anti-blade robe gets in the way, we reconstruct it into something like a work jumpsuit. Let’s call it an anti-blade jumpsuit. That way it won’t interfere with movement.”
“Okay okay.”
“And when the weapon touches the jumpsuit and gets tangled, the vibration mechanism stops. Just like the fiber-reinforced safety gear they have on Earth.”
“I’ve never seen that, so whatever.”
Well, a normal high-school girl wouldn’t know that sort of equipment.
“And Arisa — guess what machine that safety gear is designed to protect you from? That’s right. A chainsaw. Which brings us back to the start.”
“Ah-huh, sure.”
“Instead of attacking directly with an object that has the «Leg Jitter» skill applied to it like the high-frequency blade, we use the vibration as an engine and create a mechanical weapon.
…
A chainsaw-type structure delivers excellent destructive power, and even if it touches the jumpsuit, the enchanted fibers jam the blade and stop it.
…
No loss in offensive capability, and safer and sturdier than the current model.”
When I finished, Arisa narrowed her eyes at me.
“So basically: use the «Leg Jitter» skill as an engine, make a chainsaw, replace the high-frequency blade with it, redesign the anti-blade robe as a jumpsuit, and that fixes today’s problems. That’s what you’re saying, right?”
“Well… put simply, yes.”
“Then say that first!”
She smacked my shoulder — bashin! — and scolded me.
I’d tried to spice up a boring explanation with a little narrative flair, but it had clearly backfired.
I couldn’t say I agreed with her, but she had given me honest feedback. I should thank her.
“Thank you.”
“Why? Seriously, why are you thanking me after I hit you? That’s gross.”
It felt like it had been a long time since Arisa last called me gross.
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E/N:
🤣 Poor Ossan, Arisa be like, Bish don't beat around the bush! Ah, what pure comedy… What an accurate portrayal of Gen-Z 😂!
On that note, I have a confession to make. I made a mistake translating the «Leg Jitter» skill.
So basically «貧乏ゆすり» or Binbouyusuri, literally means Poor/Poverty - Binbou; Jitter - Yusuri. Then the skill name should be Poverty Jitter, right?
Well… this is Japanese language we're talking about. Always idiomatic and poetic.
This particular idiom in Japanese refers to when a person shakes/taps their legs under stress or in anxiety.
It is an old saying so, the Poverty part refers to a poor person who shakes their legs while worrying about money. In daily conversations, when someone wants the other to stop tapping their leg, they say:
[貧乏ゆすりをやめて] or "Stop shaking your leg (it's annoying!)."
Something like that. So… while the skill name is alright, I as the editor failed to explain the idiomatic meaning. Even though I'm learning Japanese with so much passion… ORZ!
Stay tuned!
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