Konbini Ossan Volume 6 Chapter 9 — The Answer Is Inside Your Heart
After playing with Rosa for a good ten minutes, I left her and walked toward Isabella’s room.
Part of me wanted to hear how the orphanage had been doing.
But that wasn’t the main reason.
What Rosa said — that she wanted me to smile — stayed with me.
How was I supposed to do that?
How was I supposed to move past this heavy feeling?
I needed someone to talk to.
Rosa had already shown me that if I stayed alone with my thoughts, I’d only get stuck.
So I decided to lean on someone for once.
Despite my sudden visit, Isabella welcomed me warmly.
“Long time no see, Otsugi-san. What brings you here today?”
“I wanted to hear how the children have been doing while I was away. And… there’s something personal I’d like to ask your advice on.”
“My my. After everything you’ve done for us, the least I can do is listen to a worry or two.”
Her tone lightened the air.
She had a natural way of making difficult topics easier to approach — no doubt a skill honed by raising so many children.
First, we handled the business of the orphanage.
Nothing major had happened.
Any issues had already been taken to Maria or Shirley, and the two of them had gone out of their way to help even though it wasn’t strictly their job.
I’d have to thank them properly later — with bonuses as well.
Once that was done, we finally moved to my real reason for visiting.
I told her more than I’d told Rosa — not every detail, but enough.
Arisa’s sudden marriage, my inability to accept it, the way my feelings lag behind my own logic.
I even told her how Rosa wished I would smile again, and how I couldn’t see how to make that happen.
When everything was said, I summed it up plainly.
“In short, I’m not handling this well. I want to fix it, but wanting to isn’t enough. How am I supposed to move past this?”
Isabella listened without interrupting once.
Then she nodded softly.
“That is a very difficult problem. Feelings — especially ones involving more than just yourself — do not have easy answers.
…
What was right? What should you have done? Those questions rarely resolve neatly.”
Her voice was gentle, but steady.
“But there is one thing we can say for certain. That is; what you should do.”
“What I should do…?”
“Yes. I believe there is something inside your heart — something only you can see — that is holding you back.
…
Something deeply rooted within you is what keeps your heart from following your decisions.”
Her words were abstract, but their meaning was clear.
My struggle came from within myself. Obvious, perhaps, but not something I had consciously faced.
“So first, you must look inward. Something in you is snagging your heart, and that is why your feelings will not obey your intentions.
…
That is why you must be honest with yourself. Facing that is where you must begin.”
“I see. That does make sense.”
It certainly felt more constructive than letting my thoughts swirl endlessly in the air.
“Then, Otsugi-san — come here.”
Isabella motioned gently.
I stepped in front of her.
“Please, bow your head a little.”
“Like this?”
The moment I lowered my head, softness enveloped it.
She pulled me against her chest, holding my head as though cradling a child.
“It’s all right. Truly. You will be fine. Your heart has the answer, and you will find it.”
Her voice was soft enough to melt into.
She stroked my head gently, soothingly — and somehow, it didn’t feel inappropriate or embarrassing.
It felt… healing.
Before I knew it, tears were running down my face.
A grown man, being held by a woman and crying — pathetic.
Yet I couldn’t stop.
She stayed like that, murmuring “It’s all right, it’s all right”, as though comforting a toddler.
I don’t know how long it lasted.
Eventually the tears faded, and I slowly pulled away.
“Thank you. I’m all right now.”
“Do you feel better?”
“Yes… very much.”
It was embarrassing, but after showing her that much weakness, there was no point pretending.
“Thanks to you, I feel like I can try again.”
“I hope the day comes when you find the answer you’re searching for.”
After exchanging a few more words of thanks and encouragement, I left the orphanage.
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E/N:
It's a difficult time for Ossan… He must fight the demons in his mind and come to a conclusion. And we all know what that conclusion is!
In times of sadness and depression, my dear readers, please find someone or something that soothe you and be adamant yo not cut ties with them. Human warmth is the best medicine in such times. I pray that you all overcome your problems and come out happy!
Also, as I had explained before, please expect delays in upload as my exams are going on. Of course, I myself will do my utmost to make you happy in the form of compensation! Stay tuned! (1/4 chapters)
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