Konbini Ossan Volume 6 Chapter 15 — What Matters Most to Me
I ran back to the magic tool shop and immediately searched for Arisa.
“Is Arisa-san here?”
“If you're looking for her, she's in her room right now.”
Shirley happened to be out front and answered me.
I hurried up to the second floor and knocked on Arisa’s door.
“Arisa-san. It’s me. There’s something I’d like to talk about.”
After a short pause, a reply came.
“Sure. Come in.”
With permission granted, I opened the door.
Arisa was already sitting in a chair as if waiting.
“What’s wrong, old man? You’re kinda sudden.”
She smiled gently, though something about it felt lonely.
“I have a question. Why did you decide to get engaged to the Roosevelt Marquis?”
“Because I wanted to.”
“So why did you want to? I’d like to hear the reason.”
When I pressed her, her expression tightened as if troubled.
Even so, I kept asking.
“This is presumptuous and self-centered of me, but… did you decide on the engagement only because it would benefit me in some way?”
“It’s not that!”
“Then why? From my perspective it felt abrupt, as if you hardened your resolve out of nowhere. I need to understand the reason. I can’t accept this if I don’t know anything.”
Pathetic or not, I had to ask.
This reason — the core — was the one thing I had left vague for too long.
“I did it because I thought it was what’s best for me. Because I understood that. So just leave me alone already!”
Her voice cracked painfully as she shouted.
“What’s the point now? What’s the point of asking? If I were being forced into marrying the marquis against my will, what would you even do about it?”
“That is—”
“You wouldn’t do anything! So don’t ask me stuff like that!”
She screamed, hysterical.
But what she said was true.
Nothing we said or felt could change the situation now.
She chose to marry the marquis.
I chose to send her off.
Yet the stubborn part of me still wanted to cling to her.
My emotions and my reason wrestled inside me until I could no longer form words.
Then she spoke again, softer this time.
“Make sure you send me off properly, okay? I want to feel like… like you really cared about me. If you don’t, then… yeah, that’d really suck.”
I blinked at her wording.
Arisa, who always hid her feelings and guarded her heart, had voiced her emotions plainly — and painfully.
That meant her feelings ran deeper than the words themselves.
I was tormenting her.
My lingering attachment was hurting her.
That realization hit me like cold water.
“…I understand. I won’t ask anything more.”
“Okay.”
“I’m your guardian. As your guardian, I will send you properly to the marquis’ household.”
“Okay.”
This wasn’t the time to cling to my own feelings.
This wasn’t the time to make her suffer for my selfishness.
The truth was obvious: I wasn’t good enough.
No matter what I did, I would just keep hurting her.
So I would let her go.
No matter how violently my heart churned, I would remain composed.
That was my duty — as her guardian.
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E/N:
Yare yare daze~! This is what happens when a man has low self-esteem smh…
Well, stay tuned for what's to come…!
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